Fewer things are nicer than a man who smells good. A man that smells good is nice, but a nice man who smells good is even better. A nice man who smells bad is a huge disappointment. One minute you're having a conversation about saving the whales or how much he also enjoys long walks in the countryside or why Frank Sinatra is a legend and the next minute you're breathing in BO potent enough to make your toes curl or the scent of sweat with an essence of mould because he does his own laundry (yes Lord) but also leaves his laundry sitting in the washing machine (Jesus, take the wheel.) I was holding my breath whilst writing that sentence because it was so long but d'you know what else makes me pinch my nose? Bad guys that smell bad. Avoid them at all costs. Bad guys that smell good are like soap from LUSH. Incredibly enticing, but it's probably best not to eat them. Or any kind of flavoured Schnapps - the consequences are likely to be dire.
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